The Beauty Of It All

So why the move?  Personal reasons, found myself questioning if what I was living was truly as good as it can get for me?  Was I settling for what I thought was enough and all that I deserved.  When my inner-me answered with a loud and bold, yes, I had no choice but to listen.

We all have a sad story, we all have a need and desire to speak of it, get it off our chest and to be told that it will get better or that we did the best that we could under the circumstances.  I don't want to go there right now.  Life is what 'we' as individuals make it out to be and this is my adventure down a path leading me to the time of my life.

California will be greatly missed.  My friends and family will be greatly missed.  But we have a means to see each other or call, so this distance between us will end up being an adjustment, not a downfall.


Arizona is a new start for me.  I have temporarily returned to the nest so-to-speak so that I can get back on my feet and for the emotional / moral support that I find myself needing every now and again.

My parents own a beautiful home with whom they have shared with their 3 dogs for the past 8 or 9 years.  The 'spoiled rotten' ankle-biter dogs are another story all their own, but for now I can say that it is great to be back with my mom, even though I am in my mid 40's.  It is great to find comfort in knowing that my dad is just a few rooms away to protect me.  It is an awesome feeling to find that I no longer fear the uncertainty of the unknown.

Despite having ended a relationship prior to leaving California, one that lasted well over 3 years and ended in a not so good way, I find that in some way I had already prepared myself for this ending and although I am hurt, I am not devastated.  In fact, the day before I left I found myself in communication with a man that I had dated over 7 years ago, someone whom I left behind here in Arizona to return to my children in California.  We are taking it really slow, although we have been in communication since my arrival and made plans to see each other last week, due to his work schedule that meeting did not happen, but that's okay, I was really, really nervous about seeing him again.