With having some business dealings in Phoenix, I decided to take Shawn up on his offer to say with him instead of having to travel back and forth from home, which is a total of 2 hours and 6 minutes one way, didn't take much convincing I'm telling you!
I am actually glad that I did accept, being here with him and his son has not only opened my eyes to how he is as a father, but also how close he is with his son. It's been a great experience and I have made the right decision on not allowing a relationship to come between them.
Initially when I agreed, I was really nervous about how his son would react to me being here and the fact that it is not his mom under the same roof as his dad. It was quite nerve wrecking to be honest. Now, I am being shown all of his drawings, his hobbies, his humor and some of his toys, it's actually pretty cute and I am really happy that he is comfortable with me being here.
Dad on the other hand is also more relaxed and yet, I can sense that he is still on edge.
Slowly, we are working on finding some form of comfort for both of us, the adults in the house! After his son goes to bed, we sit on the couch and watch t.v or jump in the pool, but we always end up with a great conversation and holding hands. There has been no further discussions of a relationship, there has been no attempt on an intimacy note although we did kiss once.
It appears that we are both on the same page with this whole arrangement and he has honored my wishes to not push something on us that doesn't start in the best interest of his son. I am not saying that down the road I wouldn't like to take whatever it is we have found further, but right now, that is just not possible.
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