Recently there was a confession by Robert in which he told me the truth in regards to his marriage. He has been separated from his wife for the past 3 years.
Initially I had unfairly judged his decision for telling me. I thought it was less than truthful and the only way he thought to possibly get me to sleep with him, hell, all I knew per our previous conversations was that he was married and had been away from his family for the past few months, so my thought fell along the lines of someone who was lonely and needing to get laid.
When my reaction was less than favorable towards him as he made an attempt to kiss me, I really thought that my behavior would have sent him in a direction to look for someone else, someone more than willing to accommodate his urges. But that didn't happen. In fact he apologized for his behavior and insisted that I never avoid being truthful to him, regardless of the chance that it may hurt or anger him. He stated that he has never met anyone like me who isn't afraid to speak her mind and actually mean it.
Friday morning I had learned of a friend from back home passing away. My day didn't continue, I found myself stuck on idle as I continued to feel guilty for being here in Arizona and not back home having spent more time with my friend before he passed, I actually felt extremely selfish for the decisions that I made.
When the evening came, I decided that I needed to get out of the house, I needed a way to release the frustration, emotions, anger, guilt, etc... So I kept my plans with Robert for an evening of dancing and pool.
As we had been at the bar for about an hour or so, a song came on that he liked and he led me to the dance floor. It was actually a fast song. So, as we were shaking our asses on the dance floor, the next thing I know he has his hand on my upper back and the dancers around us are moving much faster than we were. At some point during the dance he said that he could see it in my eyes that I was trying really hard to keep from crying, I was trying really hard to have a good time, that I was trying really hard not to mess up his night with my emotional state. So, he put his hand on my back and pulled me close to him, holding me tighter than I have ever allowed him to do prior.
Before we left the bar, he asked if I would like to stay with him? He promised to be a perfect gentleman and not take advantage of my emotional state. He stated that he could see that I just needed a friend, comfort, support and understanding. He offered me endless use of his arms for the night in whatever capacity I needed.
My thought at the time he asked was that yes, whether he was a gentleman or not, I needed someone to make the pain go away, I needed someone to take my mind off of my problems, my guilt, my frustration.
We spoke for many hours, eventually waking up in each others arms sometime just before noon. He didn't try anything, he was a perfect gentleman, a perfect friend. After we ate breakfast, I went home, changed and returned to his house as we had plans for the day.
It is now a totally different feeling between us, yes there is friendship still, but there is more respect for him in my eyes. After we were done running around for the day, we headed to the bar for another round of pool and dancing, this time it felt as though people were moving out of our way as we headed to the dance floor, I can't explain the feeling, but it is a nice one.
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