Over and above

With having some business dealings in Phoenix, I decided to take Shawn up on his offer to say with him instead of having to travel back and forth from home, which is a total of 2 hours and 6 minutes one way, didn't take much convincing I'm telling you!

I am actually glad that I did accept, being here with him and his son has not only opened my eyes to how he is as a father, but also how close he is with his son.  It's been a great experience and I have made the right decision on not allowing a relationship to come between them.

Initially when I agreed, I was really nervous about how his son would react to me being here and the fact that it is not his mom under the same roof as his dad.  It was quite nerve wrecking to be honest.  Now, I am being shown all of his drawings, his hobbies, his humor and some of his toys, it's actually pretty cute and I am really happy that he is comfortable with me being here.

Dad on the other hand is also more relaxed and yet, I can sense that he is still on edge.

Slowly, we are working on finding some form of comfort for both of us, the adults in the house!  After his son goes to bed, we sit on the couch and watch t.v or jump in the pool, but we always end up with a great conversation and holding hands.  There has been no further discussions of a relationship, there has been no attempt on an intimacy note although we did kiss once.

It appears that we are both on the same page with this whole arrangement and he has honored my wishes to not push something on us that doesn't start in the best interest of his son.  I am not saying that down the road I wouldn't like to take whatever it is we have found further, but right now, that is just not possible.

Sunday Bliss....

So the date with Shawn finally happened.  It was a great time spent playing pool, swimming, barbeque's and just getting to know each other.  I also had a chance to spend some time with his 2 dogs, gorgeous dogs!  Perhaps someday I will post a photo of them, pretty much want to see where things go for us first and of course, get his permission.

The spot we ended up at for our First Date / Meeting was a great place, called BullShooters in Phoenix.  The music was perfect, the atmosphere was pretty friendly, it was just what I feel is the perfect location for a first date if both parties like Pool, Darts, well pretty much a sporty feel.  There were also a few junior pool leagues going on in there.

Although I thoroughly enjoyed myself, it comes with a bit of guilt for two reasons.

First off, I did stay the night at his house and this morning he had to work.  Last night he informed me that his boys would be coming by the house to use the pool, probably early but a time wasn't specified.  Well this morning he told me they would probably be there around 10am.  Without thinking first, I got up, got dressed and out the door I went, that quick!  Why the guilt?  Well, I feel as though I may have given him the wrong impression that I didn't want to meet his boys and therefore was trying to avoid them as quickly as I could.... that is the farthest from the truth though.

It has been such a long time since I have found someone who I truly connected with, it has been such a long time since I have actually looked forward to the possibility that I could be truly happy with someone.  I have Shawn to thank for that.  Whether we end up together as a couple or just friends, either way I view it, I will have gained a lot.

So this whole situation with his boys had nothing to do with wanting to avoid them, I would prefer to find out where him and I stand first and also, I didn't want to put him in a situation that he would have to explain my presence and perhaps have to deal with the ex as well.

Secondly, I have some guilt in the fact that I was very much against even considering dating someone again.  So, my mind goes back to the friend of my mom's whose brother and I went on a date just a couple of weeks ago.  There has been no issue's, in fact we are getting together for a few games of pool on Friday, as friends.  But I feel guilty because I know he is interested in more and yet, I am not, with him that is.....  I just don't know if this is a situation I bring up to him or not?  I want to be respectful towards him and yet I don't know how something like this is even handled... ughhhhhhhhhhh!  Being single is so confusing!

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Why Parents Drink!

A boss wondered why one of his most valued employees had not phoned in sick one day. Having an urgent problem with one of the main computers, he dialed the employee's home phone number and was greeted with a child's whisper.

"Hello?"

"Is your daddy home?" he asked.

"Yes," whispered the small voice.

"May I talk with him?"

The child whispered, "No,"

Surprised and wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, "Is your mommy there?"

"Yes,"

"May I talk with her?"

Again the small voice whispered, "No,"

Hoping there was somebody with whom he could leave a message, the boss asked, "Is anybody else there?"

"Yes," whispered the child, "a policeman".

Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss asked, "May I speak with the policeman?"

"No, he's busy" whispered the child.

"Busy doing what?"

"Talking to Daddy and Mommy and the Fireman," came the whispered answer.

Growing more worried as he heard a loud noise in the background through the ear piece on the phone, the boss asked, "What is that noise?"

"A helicopter"answered the whispering voice.

"What is going on there?" demanded the boss, now truly apprehensive.

Again, whispering, the child answered, "The search team just landed a helicopter,"

Alarmed, concerned and a little frustrated the boss asked, "What are they searching for?"

Still whispering, the young voice replied with a muffled giggle... "ME,"

Keeping the kids occupied!

Now that a lot of the kids are out of school due to the summer break, a friend asked me if I had any ideas on how to keep them occupied and out of her hair.... lol!  Why ask me, well, I have 4 children and 1 grandson.  Recently we found out that there is a 2nd grandbaby on the way!  I can't believe I am a grandmother at my age, but in truth it is a totally awesome experience, especially since it has been proven that the mothers curse really works!  There were many times when my own mother told me, 'when you are old enough to have children, I pray they act exactly the way you do so you will know why I am pulling out my hair!'... I caught myself proclaiming the same curse to my son on occasion. lol!

I guess the best advice I can provide would be to actually spend time with them, both as a group and individually.

I doesn't mean that you have to spend every moment that they are awake keeping them occupied, children should learn the ability to keep themselves occupied as well, preferably without the use of video games, tv, movies, etc...  You may have to introduce them to alternate forms of entertainment, board games, puzzles, reading, writing, drawing, etc.... but look at it as the perfect opportunity to get to know your kids and perhaps a little something extra about yourself that you didn't know prior.


However, before you send your child off to entertain themselves, please ensure that you are aware of what they are doing and/or where it is being done, although we may tend to 'age-appropriate' the amount of control or freedom that we allow our children, as a parent, overly cautious is pretty much the standard in todays world, unfortunately!


So enough of the jibber-jabber right, what kind of things can you do with children during the summer months when they are out of school?  Surprisingly and contrary to belief, there is a lot of things to do, even if your finances are scarce.

One of the greatest inventions created when it comes to kids, in my opinion would have to be disposable or digital cameras.  If your children are quite rambunctious, definitely use a disposable one!  Otherwise, it's great to see the end result of what your children consider something worth saving.  From the top of a shoe to a thumb over the lens, it is sure to start a great conversation.

Find a local park, beach or even a walk around the block.  Take them out and let them run around, climb the trees, go on a nature hike, let them roll around in the grass and dirt, set them up with a nature treasure map, let them make some of the decisions for a picnic basket that you take for lunch (be prepared for marshmallows and chips galore!).  More importantly, let them be kids.  Allowing the kids to pull out the tents and sleeping bags for a night of 'backyard' camping can do wonders for their esteem and enjoyment.  Although it may seem like a lot of work to get everything ready, lanterns, flashlights, snacks, etc... let them be in control of what they need, to a point of course.


Basically when all is said and done, make their summer vacation an opportunity to get to know your kids again and vice versa.  Enjoy!

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