Over and above

With having some business dealings in Phoenix, I decided to take Shawn up on his offer to say with him instead of having to travel back and forth from home, which is a total of 2 hours and 6 minutes one way, didn't take much convincing I'm telling you!

I am actually glad that I did accept, being here with him and his son has not only opened my eyes to how he is as a father, but also how close he is with his son.  It's been a great experience and I have made the right decision on not allowing a relationship to come between them.

Initially when I agreed, I was really nervous about how his son would react to me being here and the fact that it is not his mom under the same roof as his dad.  It was quite nerve wrecking to be honest.  Now, I am being shown all of his drawings, his hobbies, his humor and some of his toys, it's actually pretty cute and I am really happy that he is comfortable with me being here.

Dad on the other hand is also more relaxed and yet, I can sense that he is still on edge.

Slowly, we are working on finding some form of comfort for both of us, the adults in the house!  After his son goes to bed, we sit on the couch and watch t.v or jump in the pool, but we always end up with a great conversation and holding hands.  There has been no further discussions of a relationship, there has been no attempt on an intimacy note although we did kiss once.

It appears that we are both on the same page with this whole arrangement and he has honored my wishes to not push something on us that doesn't start in the best interest of his son.  I am not saying that down the road I wouldn't like to take whatever it is we have found further, but right now, that is just not possible.

Arizona Dreaming...

Since returning to Arizona, one of the things that I wanted to do was check out all the different sights available, from the Grand Canyon to some of the mines, thus providing an idea of where to take the kids when they come out to visit.  Having met Robert, he too is very interested in doing the same for his children.  So we started our sightseeing this past weekend, our first stop was Lake Roosevelt.

No doubt that there are some awesome places to be seen out here, it is just a matter of finding them.  Unfortunately I checked with the Chamber of Commerce Tourist Information and although the book provided has a lot of pretty pictures of scenery and establishments, it doesn't quite tell you what location you are looking at, so know way to know how to get there, arrrrg!

One of the places that we kept talking about was this turquoise mine/jewelry shop right here in Globe.  It is a place that we both pass on a regular basis so we decided it would be nice to check out.  After finding out the actual name of the place, Sleeping Beauty Turquoise, I checked out their website for visiting hours, was completely stumped by their days/hours thinking that it had to be listed wrong on their website, so I called... nope, not wrong on their website!  The place is open Mon - Fri from 8 - 4pm... What the hell?  As it is actually located on one of the main roads used in and out of town by numerous travelers, wouldn't it be better opened during the weekend as well?  I just don't understand the thinking of this establishments hours of operation.  I guess Robert and I are going to have to go elsewhere to check out some jewelry made with the riches of the local mines.

So now he has left the task of adventure to me.... ughhhh!  I will be researching some locations, both local and not so local, map it out and off we will go.  Currently our major adventure is going to take us away for the entire weekend, The Grand Canyon.  I have been there before, he has not.  It will be an awesome sight for him to see personally as pictures do it no justice.  Until that trip is planned, we will be traveling locally.  I think for our next adventure we are going to check out the Besh-ba-Gowah Archeological Park, but that is just a thought at this time....

If anyone out there in blogger-land has any ideas of some great places to visit here in Arizona, please feel free to provide some input.

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In a mood...

For whatever reason was going through my head at the time, perhaps out of sheer boredom, I threw a bit of information at the direction of research and OMG, the information I pulled up was quite surprising. 

First off, tomorrow is my 2nd date with Shawn.  As I have a meeting this afternoon in Phoenix, we decided that instead of me driving 2 hours there, back and then doing it again tomorrow, I am going to be staying with him tonight.

So yesterday... as I am entering the information into Google Maps as to the location of my meeting from home, the thought of just how far my AZ Drummer lives from Shawn entered my mind.  Sooooooo, it is less than a mile!  Yeah, I was like, holy hell!

So now it's later in the evening and I am posting on a journal that I am part of, then I notice how you can search/view other members journals, so for the hell of it, I use keywords for Shawn and then for my AZ Drummer.  Nothing comes up with Shawn, but for the AZ Drummer, I was actually brought to his wife's journal!  At this point I am like 'Holy Shit!'....

Although there was a lot of entries, out of respect, I only read one, basically just checking to see if this is in fact one and the same... so my answer would have to be, yes, without a doubt, this was his wife's journal!

So as of now, my research is back in it's box, only to be used for a true good reason.

Sunday Bliss....

So the date with Shawn finally happened.  It was a great time spent playing pool, swimming, barbeque's and just getting to know each other.  I also had a chance to spend some time with his 2 dogs, gorgeous dogs!  Perhaps someday I will post a photo of them, pretty much want to see where things go for us first and of course, get his permission.

The spot we ended up at for our First Date / Meeting was a great place, called BullShooters in Phoenix.  The music was perfect, the atmosphere was pretty friendly, it was just what I feel is the perfect location for a first date if both parties like Pool, Darts, well pretty much a sporty feel.  There were also a few junior pool leagues going on in there.

Although I thoroughly enjoyed myself, it comes with a bit of guilt for two reasons.

First off, I did stay the night at his house and this morning he had to work.  Last night he informed me that his boys would be coming by the house to use the pool, probably early but a time wasn't specified.  Well this morning he told me they would probably be there around 10am.  Without thinking first, I got up, got dressed and out the door I went, that quick!  Why the guilt?  Well, I feel as though I may have given him the wrong impression that I didn't want to meet his boys and therefore was trying to avoid them as quickly as I could.... that is the farthest from the truth though.

It has been such a long time since I have found someone who I truly connected with, it has been such a long time since I have actually looked forward to the possibility that I could be truly happy with someone.  I have Shawn to thank for that.  Whether we end up together as a couple or just friends, either way I view it, I will have gained a lot.

So this whole situation with his boys had nothing to do with wanting to avoid them, I would prefer to find out where him and I stand first and also, I didn't want to put him in a situation that he would have to explain my presence and perhaps have to deal with the ex as well.

Secondly, I have some guilt in the fact that I was very much against even considering dating someone again.  So, my mind goes back to the friend of my mom's whose brother and I went on a date just a couple of weeks ago.  There has been no issue's, in fact we are getting together for a few games of pool on Friday, as friends.  But I feel guilty because I know he is interested in more and yet, I am not, with him that is.....  I just don't know if this is a situation I bring up to him or not?  I want to be respectful towards him and yet I don't know how something like this is even handled... ughhhhhhhhhhh!  Being single is so confusing!

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Laughter is the best medicine, EVER!

I have always heard the phrase 'Laughter is the best medicine' and believed that I had been living it as much as I could, well now, I definitely know I am doing that.

I have not enjoyed a great conversation in years, nothing like I have been having just the last couple of days with Shawn, it has been wonderful to be able to just laugh.

Our conversation topics go from our children, our businesses, our likes / dislikes, our wants / desires in life and love, right over to the other side of the spectrum which includes our idea's of an awesome relationship, romance, spending time together and of course, the sexual aspect.  Communication is in the top 3 'must haves' in a relationship for both of us.  I have found myself divulging information to him that not even my ex's were ever told, it's so weird and unlike me to be so open.  The crazy thing about it is that he can tell I am blushing right over the phone!

It may be due to the fact that we have not met, it may be due to the fact that we find ease in speaking freely to the anonymous despite the fact that we will be meeting eventually, it is just a matter of time.  A day that without a doubt, we are both looking forward too....

Taking a chance...

Okay, so I have found myself talking with a gentleman that I met on an on-line dating site, although there are two left over from the ones that I weeded out, this one actually had me at ease and comfortable enough to exchange phone numbers for a bit of texting back and forth.

We started sending text messages to each other at about 3 pm yesterday and I finally fell asleep on him at about 3:30 this morning!  Not only does he have an awesome sense of humor, but we never ran out of things to talk about, it was nice, actually it is still nice, we are once again chatting via text.  However, we are going to be talking on the phone in about a half hour, soooooo nervous!

So the day has been a good one.

Out and about

Since arriving here in Arizona, I haven't really ventured out all that much on my own, with the exception of the last minute dinner invitation from a romantic interest, hmmmm, feels weird to actually say that, I have a romantic interest, feels pretty cool.

In all honesty, I am keeping a lid on the dating for now, I wouldn't mind spending some quality time with someone who isn't one of my parents, going to a movie, out for a few games of pool or even for a little walk around the block, perhaps I need to head out and find a few girlie-girls to hang out with on Friday nights.  I don't know, I just know that I am getting cabin fever!

As for the dinner date tonight, I am still honoring that, we definitely had a lot to talk about last time, plus he wants to go shoot a few games of pool afterwards.  So I am hoping he will be understanding in my decision to continue my breather from dating and be just as content as a friend, and someone to hang out with once in a while.  In all honesty, my mind still revolves around the AZ Drummer, which I know, give it time, give it time.....

If it goes any further with my new friend, then so be it, but for now, I am pretty confident in my decision. 

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