Communication.... ah yes, we can talk!

One of the main questions that I have found myself asking is when it comes to on-line dating, what do you do after you have met someone?  If you are unsure as to how things went for both of you, not just yourself, is it okay to continue to talk to other members?  Is it okay to show an interest in other members to potentially start up a conversation?  What are the rules here?

Although I had a great time talking and then meeting Shawn, I really don't know where we stand, what I do know is that I consider him a friend at this point.  If things should progress, then it will on it's own, nothing needing pressure over.  But in the realm of things, I really don't think I am prepared to get into a committed relationship with anyone right now, I don't know that I even want to at this point.

There hasn't been any discussion between Shawn and myself about going beyond getting to know each other better for now and I am quite content with that.  We are going to be spending some time together next week, so that will be a nice thing to look forward to.

As for the dating site, during the time when Shawn and I were in discussions to meet, I did hide my profile and I did inform those others that I had been speaking to that I was going to be meeting with someone.  Surprisingly, there was no animosity or negative words sent my direction, in fact they actually wished me luck and one gave me his number in case I had an issue and needed help, he too lives in Phoenix.

So now, I have since put my profile back up and resumed talks with the same guys.  After answering their questions on how everything went, we are back to our same conversation levels, it's really nice and according to them, it is okay to continue talking with others, it's okay to continue meeting with others until you find that one person you are seeking.

So, for now I guess I am a bit more comfortable with what I am doing, but I still wish I knew for sure what the rules of on-line dating were...   

What are the rules?

Okay, so when it comes to on-line dating, what are the rules?  Take my situation for starters.  I met Shawn through the site, spoke via text and on the phone for a few weeks and then we met.  Although things went really good, I have to view it as, 'it went good for me' as I really don't know what his thoughts are as of yet.

As I know he had a very long and busy work schedule today, despite he said he'd call me when he got home, I really don't expect a phone call until tomorrow, might get an 'all tired as hell' text, but I kind of doubt it.

So am I suppose to stop further contact with other members, can I still talk to them?  Currently I am still talking to one of the other men that I started talking to before Shawn and I met.  Is this okay, is this proper on-line dating etiquette? 

At this time I am avoiding any conversation topic that may lead to a possible meeting.  We are just chatting back and forth as we did prior.  But if he does ask, what the hell am I suppose to say, do, etc...

Wow, this is a confusing situation.  Perhaps it's another case of just allowing things to happen on their own, no stress, no expectations, etc...

In truth, if I were to be asked if I thought Shawn would want to pursue a relationship together, in all honesty, I don't know.  Now that I am thinking about it, despite that I really do like him, maybe the fact that I am questioning everything is a red flag for myself that maybe, just maybe I am not ready to jump back into a relationship.

Okay, I am allowing my brain to go on over-drive here, time to stop and just chill!  Phew, being single is tough!

Sunday Bliss....

So the date with Shawn finally happened.  It was a great time spent playing pool, swimming, barbeque's and just getting to know each other.  I also had a chance to spend some time with his 2 dogs, gorgeous dogs!  Perhaps someday I will post a photo of them, pretty much want to see where things go for us first and of course, get his permission.

The spot we ended up at for our First Date / Meeting was a great place, called BullShooters in Phoenix.  The music was perfect, the atmosphere was pretty friendly, it was just what I feel is the perfect location for a first date if both parties like Pool, Darts, well pretty much a sporty feel.  There were also a few junior pool leagues going on in there.

Although I thoroughly enjoyed myself, it comes with a bit of guilt for two reasons.

First off, I did stay the night at his house and this morning he had to work.  Last night he informed me that his boys would be coming by the house to use the pool, probably early but a time wasn't specified.  Well this morning he told me they would probably be there around 10am.  Without thinking first, I got up, got dressed and out the door I went, that quick!  Why the guilt?  Well, I feel as though I may have given him the wrong impression that I didn't want to meet his boys and therefore was trying to avoid them as quickly as I could.... that is the farthest from the truth though.

It has been such a long time since I have found someone who I truly connected with, it has been such a long time since I have actually looked forward to the possibility that I could be truly happy with someone.  I have Shawn to thank for that.  Whether we end up together as a couple or just friends, either way I view it, I will have gained a lot.

So this whole situation with his boys had nothing to do with wanting to avoid them, I would prefer to find out where him and I stand first and also, I didn't want to put him in a situation that he would have to explain my presence and perhaps have to deal with the ex as well.

Secondly, I have some guilt in the fact that I was very much against even considering dating someone again.  So, my mind goes back to the friend of my mom's whose brother and I went on a date just a couple of weeks ago.  There has been no issue's, in fact we are getting together for a few games of pool on Friday, as friends.  But I feel guilty because I know he is interested in more and yet, I am not, with him that is.....  I just don't know if this is a situation I bring up to him or not?  I want to be respectful towards him and yet I don't know how something like this is even handled... ughhhhhhhhhhh!  Being single is so confusing!

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Laughter is the best medicine, EVER!

I have always heard the phrase 'Laughter is the best medicine' and believed that I had been living it as much as I could, well now, I definitely know I am doing that.

I have not enjoyed a great conversation in years, nothing like I have been having just the last couple of days with Shawn, it has been wonderful to be able to just laugh.

Our conversation topics go from our children, our businesses, our likes / dislikes, our wants / desires in life and love, right over to the other side of the spectrum which includes our idea's of an awesome relationship, romance, spending time together and of course, the sexual aspect.  Communication is in the top 3 'must haves' in a relationship for both of us.  I have found myself divulging information to him that not even my ex's were ever told, it's so weird and unlike me to be so open.  The crazy thing about it is that he can tell I am blushing right over the phone!

It may be due to the fact that we have not met, it may be due to the fact that we find ease in speaking freely to the anonymous despite the fact that we will be meeting eventually, it is just a matter of time.  A day that without a doubt, we are both looking forward too....