What are the rules?

Okay, so when it comes to on-line dating, what are the rules?  Take my situation for starters.  I met Shawn through the site, spoke via text and on the phone for a few weeks and then we met.  Although things went really good, I have to view it as, 'it went good for me' as I really don't know what his thoughts are as of yet.

As I know he had a very long and busy work schedule today, despite he said he'd call me when he got home, I really don't expect a phone call until tomorrow, might get an 'all tired as hell' text, but I kind of doubt it.

So am I suppose to stop further contact with other members, can I still talk to them?  Currently I am still talking to one of the other men that I started talking to before Shawn and I met.  Is this okay, is this proper on-line dating etiquette? 

At this time I am avoiding any conversation topic that may lead to a possible meeting.  We are just chatting back and forth as we did prior.  But if he does ask, what the hell am I suppose to say, do, etc...

Wow, this is a confusing situation.  Perhaps it's another case of just allowing things to happen on their own, no stress, no expectations, etc...

In truth, if I were to be asked if I thought Shawn would want to pursue a relationship together, in all honesty, I don't know.  Now that I am thinking about it, despite that I really do like him, maybe the fact that I am questioning everything is a red flag for myself that maybe, just maybe I am not ready to jump back into a relationship.

Okay, I am allowing my brain to go on over-drive here, time to stop and just chill!  Phew, being single is tough!

Out and about

Since arriving here in Arizona, I haven't really ventured out all that much on my own, with the exception of the last minute dinner invitation from a romantic interest, hmmmm, feels weird to actually say that, I have a romantic interest, feels pretty cool.

In all honesty, I am keeping a lid on the dating for now, I wouldn't mind spending some quality time with someone who isn't one of my parents, going to a movie, out for a few games of pool or even for a little walk around the block, perhaps I need to head out and find a few girlie-girls to hang out with on Friday nights.  I don't know, I just know that I am getting cabin fever!

As for the dinner date tonight, I am still honoring that, we definitely had a lot to talk about last time, plus he wants to go shoot a few games of pool afterwards.  So I am hoping he will be understanding in my decision to continue my breather from dating and be just as content as a friend, and someone to hang out with once in a while.  In all honesty, my mind still revolves around the AZ Drummer, which I know, give it time, give it time.....

If it goes any further with my new friend, then so be it, but for now, I am pretty confident in my decision. 

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Climbing Out!

Okay, happy to say that my dip into the 'Pity' pool was brief and short lived...  Fortunately my personality doesn't allow for much time spent feeling sorry for myself on matters that I can control.  I may pitch a bitch or whine a bit, but I get over it fairly quickly and this whole situation/relationship with my AZ Drummer is no different in terms of how I will handle it.

Through the years I have discovered that I am not like your typical woman when it comes to dating, perhaps leading my downfall in the romance department or finding a suitable significant other.  Truthfully, it is a trait that I refuse to let go because of how strongly I feel about it.

On average, I would think that more women would be highly upset with the continued cancellations and/or last minute calls to reschedule and then ultimately cancel.  I would also think that more women would be highly upset when the phone calls are sporadic at best and messages left are rarely replied upon.

For me it's much more complicated I think and perhaps most men would view my reserved nature as possibly uncaring, perhaps that in itself is more of a curse than anything else.

I don't expect a man to complete me or my life, although I would love to share those needs with someone special, until the day comes when I am able to give a man that much responsibility without so much as a second thought, those qualities are mine to secure and be happy with.

Having said that, I don't expect the person I am with to spend every moment of the day with me, talking to me or being my only source of entertainment.  Life comes with some of the most unexpected twists and turns, whether on a personal level or professional, I can't see myself spending my energy in a negative manner because our plans have to be changed or canceled due to something beyond our control.  However, I do have limitations with this acceptance.

I would love to think that spending time with me is just as important to them as breathing and not felt as an obligation.  How to explain this one.... well, simple enough.  Prior to the Holiday weekends approach, we had made tentative plans to get together as every other time we tried it was canceled.  With the exception of a scheduled fun day with his daughter early in the day on Saturday, he had the weekend off.  I thought as it had been 7 years and we both expressed a strong desire to see each other again and our schedules just kept getting out of whack, I thought nothing could have kept him from spending some time with me over the weekend, even if it were for just a few hours.  Instead he went shooting and from there his whole weekend was a nightmare, to which I am highly relieved and grateful that he is okay.  But the fact that he went shooting just pretty much made me realize that we are not on the same page when it comes to wanting to really see each other.

And then there are the phone calls, emails, text messages.... this one is a very fine line for me and unfortunately one that weighs heavy on my mind with my AZ Drummer.  Unfortunately since I haven't heard from him since being informed of the situation on Saturday, I guess pitching a bitch just isn't the right thing to do at this time.  Regardless, when it comes to communication, I don't expect it to be a constant and I don't find myself sitting by my phone just waiting for it to ring or notify me of a text.  However I do believe in at least checking in once in a while, if for nothing else, just to say 'hi', let me know they're okay.

There is much more that I can write when it comes to me and what I want out of a relationship, it's time for me to stop writing about it, it's time for me to stop talking about it, Life is just too short not to do something about it.